Two Weeks of the life of a Stage Four Rectal Cancer Patient in Chemotherapy Treatment--Day Twelve, Thirteen, and Fourteen
Day 12
My leg is still painful and I'm still nauseated--it's getting so I feel better much later than I used to. So, still no teaching POUND today for me.
Not much else happened today except schooling--both for me and the kids because of my pain and because I was so bummed about not being able to do POUND. The kids were able to get to their activities (that is, if they didn't act up, which Baby Boy decided to do).
Parenting is hard sometimes. I want to be "the best mom ever," yet fail to reach that goal more often than not. Besides, my idea of the best mom isn't the same as theirs. They think it's getting everything they want no matter what, and I think it's just not yelling at them for the day.
That sounds like a yell a lot. I don't... really... well... not all the time. Just when they're yelling at each other so loud that I can't help but yell to get them to knock it off. I think I need a better method because, yes, while I can make my voice much louder than theirs (thank you musical vocal training), I shouldn't.
Maybe I should purchase a ref whistle since that's what I'm doing anyway.
Excuse me while I check prices on Amazon...
Day 13
My class, kiddos' class, and then off to a whim doctor appointment to get my leg checked out--which is actually feeling better today due to some stretching I did the night before. I'm a squeeze-in appointment, so it takes a while to be seen.
Doc doesn't think the clot's totally gone yet, but won't know for sure unless I get another ultrasound. I don't want to pay for another ultrasound, so I decline that one. However, he wants me to now measure the swelling in my left leg (it's bad), and record it every day with how much I moved, etc. I'm not happy about adding even more things to remember to do right now in my life, but I will do it. He also suggested that when the leg gets painful to elevate my legs above my heart for a while. I say I'll do that, too. That one's easier. Just keep my wedge pillow on the couch, and I'm good.
The wedge pillow will make it so I won't have much sitting room on my couch, but that's alright.
I'm driving today even though I still feel nauseated, so I take myself to the doctor, get my labs done at Oncology (the nurses sometimes fight over who gets to take care of me--I love all of them), and I make a run to Wally World before heading home to grab a few things that were forgotten on grocery day. Once home, I hurry to shower (yes, I go in public smelling--something I would never have done before I got married, but it's gotten worse since cancer. I tell people to plug their noses sometimes) and get ready for a YMCA glow party where they featured aerobic dance classes and POUND. Hubby came with because he had a hot date with me, but didn't participate (POUND hurts his back... also he was in work clothes). The party was fun! I wished I could've done more, but even the fifteen minutes I spend teaching causes a coughing fit so bad it lasts a half hour. Not sure what that was from exactly, but I do live in a dry climate and it's really cold right now.
Date was great, as always. It's one of my favorite days of the week when I get to go out with Hubby. We don't necessarily say much, but after 13 years of marriage, we don't have to.
Day 14
For some reason, I couldn't sleep last night. Insomnia is a side effect of a lot of pills I'm taking including chemo, however I got to bed taking sleeping agents so not falling asleep right away like usual is confusing to me.
As I'm waking around nine in the morning, there's activity outside my door. Some friends have come to help clean our home, and Hubby is delegating. I rise slowly (partially because I was so tired, but also because I didn't want to get in their way while I made my morning omelet), and greet them with a "Good morning!" as they're heading out the door. They were quick! I don't think it was even ten when they left, but I'm not a good judge of time...
Like, ever.
I still do my class even though it's Saturday. I also do scripture study every day, so I'm occupied until I decide to stop class and instead do something brainless for a bit--play games on my phone/get on Facebook--until I have my students come for their music lessons. I do the brainless stuff so I don't think about what's coming around the corner on Monday. I should probably do something healthy like I used to--like meditate--but I don't. No reason. Just don't feel like it.
Hubby is out at a "reading band" jazz band get-together. They don't perform, but Hubby really enjoys it. I tried to join with singing maybe two years ago because I love singing jazz with a band even if it is sight reading, but then I got diagnosed and just never went back after the one time.
When Hubby gets home, he gets to woodworking in the garage, and I basically don't see him for the rest of the day until dinner. Then he'll play "Tanks" until family scripture study and bedtime.
Everyone needs to turn their brain off for a bit sometimes--especially during hard times.
-----------------------------------------------
And REPEAT!
Not all of my two weeks on chemo are as hard as these last two weeks were. As I mentioned before, the treatments are building on each other, and it's getting harder to get through these weeks. Chemo causes clots, and with a clotting disorder already, this makes it harder for me in particular. I've taught POUND with "Frodo" on some chemo weeks, so I've had some good days--even on chemo--however taking walks has proven to be challenging with my open wound, so I'm not nearly as active as I usually am. I have three treatments left, but this has (basically) been my life since re-starting my IV chemo in October when I took a break for surgery after my first IV treatment in August. I was "supposed to be done" by New Years 2019, but now I'll be done in mid-March.
I can't wait.
My leg is still painful and I'm still nauseated--it's getting so I feel better much later than I used to. So, still no teaching POUND today for me.
Not much else happened today except schooling--both for me and the kids because of my pain and because I was so bummed about not being able to do POUND. The kids were able to get to their activities (that is, if they didn't act up, which Baby Boy decided to do).
Parenting is hard sometimes. I want to be "the best mom ever," yet fail to reach that goal more often than not. Besides, my idea of the best mom isn't the same as theirs. They think it's getting everything they want no matter what, and I think it's just not yelling at them for the day.
That sounds like a yell a lot. I don't... really... well... not all the time. Just when they're yelling at each other so loud that I can't help but yell to get them to knock it off. I think I need a better method because, yes, while I can make my voice much louder than theirs (thank you musical vocal training), I shouldn't.
Maybe I should purchase a ref whistle since that's what I'm doing anyway.
Excuse me while I check prices on Amazon...
 |
| Maybe I should get the shirt too. (Source) |
Day 13
My class, kiddos' class, and then off to a whim doctor appointment to get my leg checked out--which is actually feeling better today due to some stretching I did the night before. I'm a squeeze-in appointment, so it takes a while to be seen.
Doc doesn't think the clot's totally gone yet, but won't know for sure unless I get another ultrasound. I don't want to pay for another ultrasound, so I decline that one. However, he wants me to now measure the swelling in my left leg (it's bad), and record it every day with how much I moved, etc. I'm not happy about adding even more things to remember to do right now in my life, but I will do it. He also suggested that when the leg gets painful to elevate my legs above my heart for a while. I say I'll do that, too. That one's easier. Just keep my wedge pillow on the couch, and I'm good.
The wedge pillow will make it so I won't have much sitting room on my couch, but that's alright.
I'm driving today even though I still feel nauseated, so I take myself to the doctor, get my labs done at Oncology (the nurses sometimes fight over who gets to take care of me--I love all of them), and I make a run to Wally World before heading home to grab a few things that were forgotten on grocery day. Once home, I hurry to shower (yes, I go in public smelling--something I would never have done before I got married, but it's gotten worse since cancer. I tell people to plug their noses sometimes) and get ready for a YMCA glow party where they featured aerobic dance classes and POUND. Hubby came with because he had a hot date with me, but didn't participate (POUND hurts his back... also he was in work clothes). The party was fun! I wished I could've done more, but even the fifteen minutes I spend teaching causes a coughing fit so bad it lasts a half hour. Not sure what that was from exactly, but I do live in a dry climate and it's really cold right now.
Date was great, as always. It's one of my favorite days of the week when I get to go out with Hubby. We don't necessarily say much, but after 13 years of marriage, we don't have to.
Day 14
For some reason, I couldn't sleep last night. Insomnia is a side effect of a lot of pills I'm taking including chemo, however I got to bed taking sleeping agents so not falling asleep right away like usual is confusing to me.
As I'm waking around nine in the morning, there's activity outside my door. Some friends have come to help clean our home, and Hubby is delegating. I rise slowly (partially because I was so tired, but also because I didn't want to get in their way while I made my morning omelet), and greet them with a "Good morning!" as they're heading out the door. They were quick! I don't think it was even ten when they left, but I'm not a good judge of time...
Like, ever.
I still do my class even though it's Saturday. I also do scripture study every day, so I'm occupied until I decide to stop class and instead do something brainless for a bit--play games on my phone/get on Facebook--until I have my students come for their music lessons. I do the brainless stuff so I don't think about what's coming around the corner on Monday. I should probably do something healthy like I used to--like meditate--but I don't. No reason. Just don't feel like it.
Hubby is out at a "reading band" jazz band get-together. They don't perform, but Hubby really enjoys it. I tried to join with singing maybe two years ago because I love singing jazz with a band even if it is sight reading, but then I got diagnosed and just never went back after the one time.
When Hubby gets home, he gets to woodworking in the garage, and I basically don't see him for the rest of the day until dinner. Then he'll play "Tanks" until family scripture study and bedtime.
Everyone needs to turn their brain off for a bit sometimes--especially during hard times.
-----------------------------------------------
And REPEAT!
Not all of my two weeks on chemo are as hard as these last two weeks were. As I mentioned before, the treatments are building on each other, and it's getting harder to get through these weeks. Chemo causes clots, and with a clotting disorder already, this makes it harder for me in particular. I've taught POUND with "Frodo" on some chemo weeks, so I've had some good days--even on chemo--however taking walks has proven to be challenging with my open wound, so I'm not nearly as active as I usually am. I have three treatments left, but this has (basically) been my life since re-starting my IV chemo in October when I took a break for surgery after my first IV treatment in August. I was "supposed to be done" by New Years 2019, but now I'll be done in mid-March.
I can't wait.
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